Tell me Venn – Sandra 34

 

[For back story go here: Story so far at 30 Nov 2020 and more recent Sandra episodes especially this one.]

[Other back story through in-links.]

Sandra was drawing up a Venn diagram. The diagram was, she hoped, the way in which she could get her head around what was possible or not possible to do at Christmas. The trick was to work out exactly how many people might be able to get together under one roof without everything falling apart or becoming way too complicated. Despite the diagram she still wasn’t convinced this was possible.

Her current strategy came about when she received calls from both Yolanda and Frankie, posing the question as to whether they would all be together at Christmas. On the face of it, Sandra thought they could during the time allotted by the government advice, but there were some rather large caveats to success.

The initial diagram looked fairly straight forward. She, Frankie and Yolanda/Eric were three households and didn’t exceed 8 people over 11 years old. Not that the latter applied anywhere apart from Scotland, but it seemed to be a little bit of expert advice to take on board. There again maybe the advice from experts saying just don’t try and meet up inside full stop was worth listening to as well. 

On the face of it then, everything looked calm and easy. But then she realised there were other people in the mix, and perhaps everyone should ensure they’d been careful not to put themselves at risk before meeting up, maybe they should all go into strict quarantine right now in preparation for the days ahead. There was so many questions and with new tiers coming through as well Sandra felt she needed some external advice. Fortunately she used to work for an app company whose work would precisely cover this area.

“What are you doing about Christmas?” Sandra asked Trinny over the phone.

“Oh, yeah, I’d love to come round!” said Trinny enthusiastically.

“No,” said Sandra. “What are you doing about Christmas on the app? On Together… Apart?”

“Oh,” said Trinny. “Not sure. Maybe I’ll ask Adrian.”

“Adrian? He does programming.”

“Daniel, then,” said Trinny seamlessly. “He’ll have a good idea, he’s full of good ideas.”

“And then there’s the Scotch Egg question,” added Sandra. 

“The what?” asked Trinny, and then, as if forgetting: “So can I come round? Boxing Day maybe?”

“I – I have no idea at the moment,” said Sandra. “I’ll get back to you.”

Sandra wasn’t certain Daniel would have good ideas about this particular issue. He was meant to be there for marketing purposes rather than anything else. Either way she decided to phone Daniel straight after she got off the phone from Trinny. Her initial enquiry about how the app was going to handle the Christmas arrangements was met with the same stoney silence she’d had from Bill when he was asked about Brexit.

“I’m sure we should be, will be doing something,” said Daniel. “I’ll ask Trinny.”

“Don’t worry,” said Sandra. “I’ve asked and she doesn’t know.”

“Oh. Adria –‘

“No. He does programming.”

“Well, to be honest anyone could have got their heads around it…. better than I have. I, erm, I do need to go actually, Daisy’s…. Doing something.”

Sandra genuinely wished him the best of luck and he hung up. Maybe the key was to be simple about it. To stick to those three household and ignore anyone else.

Which was fine until she received a message from Rob.

– Thanks for putting me back in touch with Frankie, it read. See you at Christmas!

Sandra, inevitably phoned Frankie and updated her on progress so far.

“It’ll work but Rob can’t come over,” she said.

“But Rob’s part of this household,” said Frankie. “He the father of the children surely he’s…”

“Is he currently living with you, or is he living somewhere else?”

“Erm, somewhere else I guess, at the moment, although that could all change. But he is still my husband so technically speaking…”

“Geography is more important than paperwork here,” said Sandra, determined to press her point home. “If you want mum and dad in the room he can’t come.”

“You sure this isn’t just sour grapes because of the TV thing and him coming after you?” said Frankie. “He has apologised, you know? You had him towed away and he’s turned over a new leaf.”

“It has nothing to do with that,” said Sandra, more forcefully. “I’m looking at how many bodies and where they’re from. If you want me and mum and dad you can’t have Rob.”

“Oh, OK,” said Frankie finally getting it. Sort of. “I reckon you’ve got it all sorted then. Can we get Jackie around as well, I mean she’s practically family as it is.”

“Oh just forget it,” said Sandra, hanging up and heading to the kitchen to make another round of millionaire shortbread.