Stage Fright – Daniel 11

[For back story go here: Story so far at 12 June 2020]

What was fundamentally different about working for Crown Apps right now was that there was nowhere to hide. The removal of Malcom and several other members of the previously ‘tight knit and professional’ team meant that those who stayed on had to prove their worth on a daily basis. Not only that but the organisation was slim to the point of transparency, so the boss, the original app programmer herself, could now see everyone and knew when and how and by how much they weren’t pulling their weight.

And so it was that when the App was entirely green-lit for release, Wendy Scheslinger herself wanted to see exactly how Daniel was going to sell it to business users over the video link or in person.

Daniel’s mouth went dry at the prospect and he pulled in a favour or two from Sandra to give him something really really good to say. Despite that, the real reason for his nerves was not to do with the substance, it was the circumstance. Even with headphones, tablet, sweets and who knew what else, there was always the chance Daisy would stop what she was doing and announce in a very loud voice that it was time for her to go and use the toilet. Only not using such a refined vocabulary.

So Daniel started by noting the close proximity of Daisy and apologising in advance if anything, perhaps, was about to happen. Wendy looked understanding, but didn’t smile or utter confirmation that this was OK.

And so Daniel began: “Simply put Crown Apps are the ideal suite of tools to make your company fly. If you’re looking to do business in this complex, distanced, digital landscape, these are the ways and means you can connect, arrange, sell and deliver.”

Daniel felt rather proud of himself so far and his confidence was beginning to gain momentum. “Flexible for your business, customisable and entirely reliable, Crown works to your best methods, whoever you are and wherever you are,” – firm smile.

“Oh Daddy,” came a voice from off screen, “Do you really believe that?”

Daniel pressed on. “Imagine, for a moment that you’re getting ready to meet a new client,” he said. “Crown Apps enables you to bring to the fore exactly what you need at that time, every time.”

“Mr Sparklehat doesn’t think it’s very good,” came the voice again, and for Wendy, Mr Sparklehat suddenly appeared on Daniel’s desk, beating his head in frustration on the surface.

“No, please Daisy, not now.”

“Mr Sparklehat has lots to do too,” said Daisy. “But Daddy doesn’t help him.”

“I’m sorry about this,” said Daniel to Wendy. “Look Daisy…”

“Fine, so far,” said Wendy. “But I need to know more about Mr Sparklehat, don’t you think?”

Daniel stopped for a moment. "Can I call you back?” he said. "Five minutes tops."

——

What Wendy Saw Next:

We open on an empty desk. We hear a high pitched voice singing merrily as one might emit whilst executing a jaunty walk. After a few moments Mr Sparklehat enters stage left, to stand, centre.

V/O: Hello, Mr Sparklehat, how are you today?

Mr Sparklehat looks stressed, his hands go to his face (or rather he whips round left to right and back quickly enough to slap himself around the ears through centrifuge).

V/O: Oh, dear Mr Sparklehat, do you have lots to do?

Nodding

V/O: Lots of meetings, lots of people to see on your video screen?

More nodding. Bit more desperate it seems.

V/O: Worried you might forget to say the right thing at the right time or tell the right person the wrong thing or forget to give them something they need?

Mr Sparklehat looks confused by leaning backwards and then nods again.

V/O: Then you need Crown Apps.

A suspiciously broken looking mobile phone is thrown on from the wings. It knocks down Mr Sparklehat but despite this he springs back up, still reasonably happy and bouncy, reinvigorated by this new item. He becomes visibly more excited as the V/O continues.

V/O: Crown Apps puts everything where you need it most, and it's there whenever you need it. From your suppliers to your office to your customers and beyond, everything can be tracked, recorded and retrieved with just a few swipes.

Mr Sparklehat is swiping his screen frenetically with his nose. It is all he can swipe it with, to be honest.

V/O: Recent in the field trials have shown great success with 98 per cent of testers saying they’ll use it live.

A party popper shoots from beneath the desk, showering Mr Sparklehat in streamers, and accompanied by a rather startled high-pitched cry. The V/O whispers: “Sorry about that – I warned you, remember?”

V/O: Crown Apps are for you. For you to succeed.

Mr Sparklehat stands centre stage again, and for a puppet on a stick he looks well pleased.

There was silence. Which Daniel duly broke.

“What, er, what did you think?”

"You did OK," said Wendy, "But I'm hiring Mr Sparklehat.”

“Thankyou very very muchly,” said Daisy’s voice.

Mr Sparklehat did a stiff bow and his head fell off.

“Daddy!” screamed Daisy and the video link dropped.