Specialist Subject – Wayne 28

 

[For back story go here: Story so far at 17 Sept 2020.]

[Back story and cultural references also found through in-links.]

So if I’m going to win Mastermind and Goddammit I should win it, then what exactly will be my specialist subject? General knowledge is there, fine, but aside from swotting up on the internet over that – maybe wikipedia, maybe? dunno, could work – maybe Dave can give me a few questions. Or Cath. Or mum. Or Phillis. Get them to ask me two or three questions each, cos like it’s general knowledge and stuff so surely anything they ask would be fair game, right?

Special subject though, there’s the thing. If I take the grime scene or music in any damn way and then make a mess of it I’d never live it down. It’d be the worst thing ever. Chosen specialist subject, David Bowie’s hit singles and then score one or two or something. Call yourself a musician, what kind of idiot are you? Wonder who sets the questions anyway? Do they shout out to some expert in that area or just get a researcher with a laptop to send in questions? They should get the fans to do it. Imagine that – enter the question of your choice to see if you can catch someone out. Excellent, I’d tune in for that. Maybe I could do that online anyway – instead of this front room gig thing.

From memory on TV I used to like Rastamouse, Chuggington – train programmes maybe? What’s the most successful train programme for kids ever? Thomas the Tank Engine I’d imagine, not much in the way of competition surely? I mean Chuggington’s all well and good but Thomas has been going on for years. Years. Is it still going now? It’s got its own theme park… Adding more characters, trying to keep up with the times. Exploring new ideas. But that Thomas, always so full of himself. At least the Chuggington guys got their comeuppance if they ever tried anything on. Ha! The things that shape your life. Generational moral codes as created by fictional trains. Let’s see them do that on Mastermind.

Number 1 hit singles might be easy. Easier if they’re number one at Christmas time maybe? Boy bands? Talent TV shows. What about Boy Bands who got famous through TV shows and had number one hit singles at Christmas? Too niche maybe? Wonder if any one of them did. Not sure you can just Google that can you? Might be one or two maybe. Oh and then there’d always be a single singer who they’d try and catch me out with – so who was the singer who started out in the Boy Band found by Simon Cowell who went on to have a hit single covering a number one that was previously – Beep! – I’ve started so I’ll finish – that was previously a hit single at Christmas time in a different era entirely. Yeah. John, know that one. But going to pass anyway cos I’d look a right swot if I said it right.

The books of Charlie Higson. There’s a subject. Young Bond and that. All those dystopian novels that I bet no one’s going to want to read now right. Why read about a plague when you’re sat in the middle of one? Growing up in one and trying to cope with it? Maybe it’ll teach them how to cope. Live it out in fiction and you’ll get through the reality. The songs of Charlie Higson, Charlie Higson’s entire life – why am I obsessing over Charlie Higson? He’s not that influential. Not like he knew how to lay down beats or loops or stuff.

Need something classic. Winnie the Pooh. Ah give me a break. Roald Dahl, yeah sure, like I’m a real expert on him. Only know the Giraffe and the thing and the other thing. Me. That was the last thing. But there was something else aside from the giraffe and the other thing and they didn’t put that in the title, did they?

Ah stuff it. Don’t know what to opt for. I should can this and help Dave with his pop-up stall. Oh that’s it. Do something cooking related, that’ll be it. Something fancy and tricky like the knowledge you need to make a souffle. Who invented choux? Who made choux? Or someone clever who cooks. Then Dave can coach me and get me sorted. Could even be cooking techniques and he can teach me as we go along. Man that would work fine. Wonder what we can do – the best way to make crepes? The science of baking power. Who invented the electric mixer.

Pelly. That’s what it was. Short for pelican. Ridiculous word but there you go. Pelly. But there was still something else apart from ‘me’. Or was 'me' the other thing that sang the song?