It's A Date – Sandra 12

[For back story go here: Story so far at 12 June 2020 and more recent Sandra episodes]

Sandra and Trinny had hit a snag with their dating app. They didn’t know exactly where the snag was but they needed to find it and do something about it fast – they were running out of time and energy and whatever had to be done to fix it had to be done as soon as possible.

So to begin with Adrian was ploughing through every piece of code and AI and logic he had at his finger tips to decipher where the app might had misfired. Maybe there was something amiss to make it function – or rather malfunction – in this way. A glitch somewhere, something not talking to something else in the same language or in the same terms, a piece of dropped data – a massive piece of dropped data – which would be staring him blankly in the face. There had to be something.

Second, Sandra was looking carefully through the source material. They’d thrown about a hundred profiles at the app, some people they’d made up, some were true, some were based on people they knew and some were based on people they thought they’d like to know. Some were taken directly off databases, others had been manually inputted. Sandra was checking and rechecking the way preferences had been stated, tick boxes, consistencies, inconsistencies and so forth, making sure the initial data was correct.

Finally it was Trinny’s job to ensure the shell of the app was tight. She was all over the way the tool came together, the flow and experience for the user, guiding them through an enjoyable journey to discover their other half, the person who would bring them through the current period of stress and into the outside world as lockdown continued to decline and their love lives increased.

So everyone was doing their best to resolve the problem, but the problem still remained: so far their dating app had failed to match anybody to anybody else. 

They weren’t after a hundred percent matches of course, they were being realistic. Anything over 40 percent – derived from looks, interests, geography and financial outlook – would result in a bright shiny amorous emoji. Anything else would deliver a big fat zero, and if the user went in and asked to be paired with someone but that fell below par they would see a sad crying emoji – but at least that would save them from the broken hearted one.

With a strong video link between the two, strong coffee for Sandra and a stronger drink for Trinny they mulled the possibilities. 

“Maybe everyone’s incompatible,” said Sandra.

“God,” said Trinny, “Have we stumbled across a side effect of the virus? The world’s population are now unloveable?”

“I mean the people we’re putting in here. Maybe we need more people. There again, the lockdown has changed everyone’s perspective, stopped them from being able to do things they want to do and maybe we’re seeing the impact of that,” said Sandra. “People aren’t who they used to be. And they aren’t used to standing next to each other, let alone... anything else, so they just don’t want to meet anyone.”

“Everyone hates each other,” concluded Trinny. 

“Nah,” said Sandra. “There’s a lot of love and support out there, don’t think everyone’s down on everyone else.”

“Know what I think?” said Trinny.

“Of course I don’t.”

“It’s not them, it’s us. The software’s rubbish. We’ve just created an app that keeps everyone apart and safe.”

“Right.”

Looking back over lockdown Sandra felt the weeks had flown by quicker than she first anticipated. Perhaps it was the result of really not knowing how long this was going to take, or maybe it was the establishment of at least some level of timetable for her life and work. Or maybe it was just that she was wishing the days away as quickly as she possibly could so she could get on with something she remembered as being normal. There was no point in savouring these days when they were so unpredictable, sometimes so dull and usually so frustrating. 

Sandra’s reverie was broken by a sudden fanfare with stars and smiley emojis lighting up every screen she had.

“What? What just happened?” asked Sandra. “Are you posting multi-platform again?”

“We have a match!” said Trinny. “Don’t ask me how and don’t get too excited. It is but one match, and we have it. And you’ll be very pleased to hear it's matched you with someone.”

“Oh God,” said Sandra. “I have a feeling you’re cheating.”

“As if! It’s entirely legit. Adrian’s just uploaded a new version with a couple of things tweaked. You, my dear Sandra, have a match.”

“If it’s Rob I’m quitting,” Sandra said quickly.

“Nope,” said Trinny, “Some bloke called Dave. You’ve met him before… but you’ve not told me about him so something must be working.”

“I don’t know anyone called Dave,” protested Sandra.

With an onscreen animated sweep of red curtains and a few badly rendered fireworks, a picture, admittedly rather pixellated, of the lucky man appeared on Sandra’s screen.

“Voila!” said Trinny.

Sandra screwed her eyes up to try and recognise him. And then she did.

“Oh hell’s teeth,” she said.

“Well..?” said Trinny, expectantly.

“I met him online weeks ago. He was the host of a virtual cocktail party.”

“And was there chemistry between you?”

“We never spoke and I had to leave early. I was feeling a bit emotional.”

“You threw up at his virtual party?” smirked Trinny.

“Sometimes I hate that you know me as well as you do,” sighed Sandra.