Audit – Jenny 59

 

[For a quick guide go here: Quick guide.]

[Old back story is here: Story so far at 30 Nov 2020 and read more recent Jenny episodes especially this one.]

[Other back story through in-links.]

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There were no special biscuits. Jenny had to admit, it was Izzy who bought the special biscuits. Instead she sat there with Helen and Peter, eating toast. Quite a lot of toast as well, because right now Jenny couldn’t be bothered to cook anything else.

“I mean,” she said, “It wasn’t such a bad day I suppose. It was just…. a day. Not good. Not interesting, not fantastically marvellous. And that’s a bit…. well, boring really.”

“Like school,” observed Peter.

“How would you know?” asked Helen. “You don’t go there any more.”

“Not my fault a pandemic came along and ruined my chances of sitting a GCSE,” said Peter. “A few choice supplies of chocolates to the right teachers and we’ll be home and dry.”

“I’m sorry,” said Jenny, trying to still believe the conversation that her kids wanted to have with her because she looked sad, was actually still about her, “I should be better than this. More able to cope and - you know, at least I’ve got a job.”

“You are better,” said Helen. “You are great. Really you are. Everyone says so and I bet work wouldn’t have had you back if you weren’t either.”

“They had me back because I was there before,” said Jenny. “Everything else I’ve tried to do just hasn’t worked out, has it? The plumbing - God the plumbing what was I even thinking of?”

“It was fun,” said Peter. “…I thought.”

“You know I’ve come out of this worse than when it started,” said Jenny, warming to her fairly dismal feelings. “There are people who have retrained, reinvented themselves, discovered and rediscovered stuff about themselves and what have I done? Shown how I can’t do anything new and can’t hold down a relationship and…”

“You’ve got through it,” said Helen. “Almost. And by that I mean we’re all almost through it - so they say - so you’ve got through that and that’s really good.”

“But what have I actually done?” said Jenny.

“You’ve got us through,” said Peter. “God knows we’ve not exactly been easy, right, but you’ve been there for us and we’re all still here. That’s something. In the face of a global pandemic and whatever else, that’s something.”

“I could have been better,” Jenny half-mumbled.

Helen got up and made more toast. The day at work had really not helped Jenny at all. There were a ridiculous number of forms to fill in, accounts to make up, things to check and grant and guarantee. Just an endless flow of paperwork and no real sense of achievement at the end of it. Linus had questioned her work output - or so she’d thought - but that was probably just his way of checking in with her. 

“You were going to do more cycling weren’t you?” said Helen coming back in. “And you’ve still got the bike, right?”

“With the special paint job,” noted Peter.

“There was a road race in the Midlands somewhere...” said Jenny vaguely. “Not sure when or where. There was a leaflet...”

“Find it,” said Peter. “Better still, tell us where to look and we’ll find it for you.”

The kids went on a house hunt to find the pamphlet while Jenny sat nursing another up of tea and letting her toast go cold. May be she should get on the bike, she thought. She had effectively made it her own and certainly removed almost all of the resale value from it. Might as well make the most of it.

She was still debating this when her phone buzzed. When she looked down there was a message and for a moment she thought Izzy had texted her. Except that would require a time slip because of the nature of the text. But then maybe everything was a time slip. There wasn’t actually any reality to this pandemic, it had all been a strange dream, an alternate reality and now...

But she knew it wasn’t. It was all real. And so was the text which now looked up at her. 

- Fancy a drink sometime? It read. And then: - You probably don't want a text like this, but just in case.

It was signed with an A and already Jenny knew this was from Anna, the woman who she knew from the supplies room at work. Jenny smiled. And sent back Yes. And a happy emoji.

“Berkhamsted!” shouted Peter as he came back into the room. “It’s around Berkhamsted. You gotta do it. Just for the name. And we’ll all come and cheer you on! Berkhamsted. Classic.”