Working It Out - Daniel 2

If there was one thing Daniel really didn't like about this whole situation; if there was one thing he would absolutely be able to change without creating pain, mistrust or confusion in the world, in addition to all the pain, confusion and mistrust that already existed; if there was just one thing given to every person sanctioned to live under this regime of fear and banana loafing; one slight tweak to the situation which could make matters easier, by a small or even life-changing amount; Daniel knew what he would do. He would get rid of Joe Wicks.

He didn't wish him out of existence. He did not want something truly awful to happen to this long (and longer) haired fit-bit who paraded across YouTube at nine every weekday morning, so full of positivity, energy, life and frankly tortuous exercises. No, he didn't want him to suffer, it was just he, Daniel, didn't want to suffer anymore.

Health and welfare was all well and good (obviously) but there was a time and place for it, he felt, and his front room at nine am in the middle of a pandemic didn't really strike a Daniel that this was the right time for Wicks' kind of stall. There again, Daniel reflected, there had never really been a right time in his own life for Wicks' kind of stall. Sure he'd played footie in an off-hand sort of way in his youth, and there had been that entirely ill-advised attempt at coming to terms with squash because it would enhance his ability to make new business contacts – and let them thrash the lights out of him – but this type of PE was firstly not enjoyable, secondly not delivering any kind of business/contact gain and thirdly just emphasising for him how sad and sorry the whole situation was. And then there was the fact that he was just no good at it.

And then there was the fact that Daisy absolutely loved Joe Wicks. She worshiped at the Joe Wicks alter each morning, lining up imaginary cups of tea for him in front of the flat screen, getting her sleep friends to do the exercises with Joe, insisting her dad did every single sodding exercise with Joe while she herself did not. Daisy, very very wise Daisy, worshiped Joe but did not let him dictate what she must do. So she just did occasional exercises in a floaty dancey sort of way, as she hummed her own sound track and hugged her own arms around herself, pretending, assumed Daniel, that Joe was keeping her safe and warm.

Yes. Life without Joe Wicks had been free and easy. And a lot less painful. And maybe it could be again one day.

"You really should give him a chance you know?" encouraged Nadia one night over Skype. Unfortunately Daniel's aching glutes were giving him particular discomfort that evening, leaving his good nature also fatigued and aching. 

Stuttering a word or two of thanks, Daniel did something he never thought he would – he faked a communications breakdown with his girlfriend, crashed his own video call, and out of sheer frustration threw Mr Sparklehat across the room where he hit a motivational slogan poster and slid down the wall behind the stylish, but minimal, bookcase. Daniel was only momentarily satisfied before the realisation hit him that he'd have to pull the bookcase forward to release Sparklehat, and to do that he'd have to take most of the books off the case and put them back on after and he'd have to do it before going to bed or Daisy would notice. But at least he’d had a moment's satisfaction, so that was something.

But then, who could have told Daniel then that only weeks later he would have discovered the importance of Joe Wicks? Maybe not Mr Wicks precisely, but the importance of event, a thing like Joe Wicks to kick-start his day and wake his body up. Over time, Wicks came to represent pretty much the key into any routine Daniel set for the day, so much so that his love for the man easily trumped Daisy's and any of her sleep friends.

Several mornings Daisy and her crew were still in bed asleep while Daniel hopped, skipped and jumped around the room sensing his spirits lifting and his muscles strengthening. Wicks was a good reason for getting up, sometimes for living, and Daniel let the man irritate the hell out of him until he felt fitter than ever. 

Finally he had done it: He Loved Joe Wicks.